well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize