i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
