I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
