I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
