I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize