no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
