Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
