So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
