gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
