dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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