3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
