we have pet lesbian snakes
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
