Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just gargled with NyQuil
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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