so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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