The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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