Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
