Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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