one two three fourrrrnication!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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