Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
