i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
