I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
