Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
im holly from the hills drunk
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
