Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
