I am spending my child support on dildos
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
handjob tips. give me some.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
