Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
