I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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