My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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