yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
