you guys were way drunker than both of me
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
