You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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