whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
