a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
