quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
