So gin and wine won't be happening again
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
