She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
