So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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