I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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