I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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