Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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