i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
