did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
