she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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