I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
