took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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