Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
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