Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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