Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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