Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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