I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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