well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
