yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Welp...herpes.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
