Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
