marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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