You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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