doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
