She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
