u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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