Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
